Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there this weekend! Do ya need another tie?? (My husband just got two more, bless his heart.)
Father’s Day doesn’t seem to have the same type of commercialization push behind it that Mother’s Day does. In fact, it didn’t even become a nationwide holiday until 1972 — 58 years after President Woodrow Wilson made Mother’s Day official. That doesn’t mean we don’t need to celebrate dads, however, because we do! Dads matter.
I’m all about women’s empowerment and being valued equally — and I’m also all about men’s empowerment and valuing them equally. I love to see strong girls and women — and I also love to see strong boys and men. Valuing people is not a zero sum game.
Together, strong men and strong women make strong families. Strong families make for strong communities, then states, nations and the world.
Let me be clear: “Strong” doesn’t mean overbearing, brash, abusive, threatening or domineering. Instead, to me at least, it means that they are strong enough to cry, strong enough to be an equal partner with their spouse and strong enough to be a present and involved father with their children.
Our culture doesn’t always value that kind of strength in men.
Look at today’s entertainment offerings. Too often, we see men portrayed as either strict and demanding to the point of being abusive, or they are portrayed as weak, silly and dumb. In either case, they are almost always shown in an unequal relationship with their spouse, especially when it comes to parenting. They’re either the authoritative disciplinarian, barking orders they expect to be obeyed, or the incompetent father who can’t figure out which end of the baby to diaper.
That inaccurate portrayal does a disservice to good men everywhere.
A former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, David O. McKay, gave one of his best-known statements to the men of the church: “The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”
Children benefit by having the involvement of dads in their homes, of course, but also their schools. When men get involved in education, students are more likely to graduate from high school and college. And, as this clever video points out, “Real Men Join the PTA.”
Utah is known as the most family-friendly state in the nation, says the state’s Office of Families website. Because of that — and not in spite of it, “we have a vested interest in ensuring the men in our state can be the best they can be,” said Aimee Winder Newton, the director. “We worry that some men struggle to reach out for help when they have mental health challenges or substance abuse. We worry about young men who are substituting in-person, real life connection and adventure for video game dopamine hits. We champion those who need job training, trade apprenticeships, or education so they can feel fulfilled and help support their families.”
“Utah is so fortunate to have many great fathers who positively impact their children in many ways,” said Winder Newton. Research has repeatedly shown us that “children with involved fathers are less likely to get in trouble at home or school. They grow up more socially competent and with higher self esteem.” There are other benefits, as well. For example, Winder Newton pointed to research showing that “involved fathers encourage their children to take calculated risks, such as trying new things or overcoming obstacles” and they often are the parent most likely to enforce boundaries.
Our kids need healthy and engaged dads. Happy Father’s Day to you all.